Teh Other FF7
by Stickey Note Ninja
Summary: Well, me and my friend got this idea one day to write a parody of FF7 and here it is! Enjoy.
1. Teh Other Real Beginning

**Part 1**

The Other Real beginning that you didn't know about because it wasn't on the DVD (even though it wasn't a DVD it was a game) because the government kept it top secret and stuff.

_Our story begins on a train. Our heroes, the rather stupid Cloud (not Clod), the ever-preppy Tifa, and the clueless Barret are about to jump off the fast moving train. They also have failed to notice that a girl with long dark blue hair was following them. Or specifically following Cloud..._

Barret: long string of curse words We gotta jump!

Cloud: But it'll mess up my hair! tear And it took me so long to get it like this! . ;

Tifa: Like, OMG!

Cloud's blue-haired stalker hides behind Barret. No one seems to notice.

Barret: Get yer spikey-headed ass out o' this train!

_Barret pushes Cloud out of the open door._

BHS (Blue Haired Stalker): Awl... I lost him..

_Barret, being somewhat stupid and not paying much attention, pushes the blue-haired stalker out the door, thinking she was Tifa. He then jumps out, managing to close the door behind him. o.o; Tifa is left on the train._

BHS: AHHHHHH! she lands on Cloud ...ow...

Cloud: Aw man... you messed up my hair! TT

BHS: AH! I'msorryI'msorry! she helps him up I'msorryI'msorry! ...Do you know my brother?

_Cloud being as slow as he was, took a few minutes to catch up with what the girl was saying._

Cloud: ...I...might... who is your brother? And who are you anyways?

BHS: I'm Terra! the girl grinned You should know him. He was in SOLDIER. You were too, right?

Cloud: Erm...yeah?

Terra: I knew it! I saw the Mako in your eyes.

_Cloud blinks, not quite catching on to what Terra was saying. He looked around._

Cloud: Where's Barret?

_After a long string of very loud and vivid curse words, the two saw Barret come crashing to the ground in front of them. (O.o; Wow that took him long enough)_

Barret: $&) That hurt!

Terra: blinks He's creepy..

Cloud: Yup.

Barret: C'mon foos.

_Barret led them through the tunnels and to their 2nd reactor._

Cloud: Why are you following me?

Terra: 'Cause you know my brother.

Cloud: Who was your brother?

Tifa: Like, OMG! Cloud!

_They found Tifa sitting in front of the Reactor._

Barret: How'd you get outta the train?

Tifa: Lets just say, I'm like really good with like my mouth.

Terra: BAD IMAGES!

Cloud: O.O --- (he's shocked)

Tifa: Like OMG! That's like, not what I meant. I like talked to them and some junk.

Cloud: ...whatever... (attack of Puberty Boy! .)

_The four of them enter the reactor and set the bomb on the reactor core._

Terra: Why are we blowing up this place?

Barret: Cuz we've savin' the Planet, damnit!

Terra: Oh... Ok!

_They set up the bomb at the reactor core. A random girl with long black hair poofled into existence next to Terra._

Random Girl: Someone set us up the bomb!

_She poofled out of existence and the four just blinked at each other._

Cloud: Ho'kay...

Barret: C'mon foos!

_As they were leaving, Rufus randomly appeared with a large evil-lookin' machine._

Rufus: I don't like you... Die now!

_The large machine came to like and attacked them while Rufus left in his helicopter._

BEGIN BOSS BATTLE!

lots fighting!

Machine: DEATH

END BOSS BATTLE

_After the smoke cleared from the fight, Cloud was hanging onto the ledge that was created from teh BOOM with Terra hanging on his ankles._

Terra: Dunfalldunfalldunfalldunfalldunfall!

Tifa: Like, OMG! They're gonna fall!

Cloud: AHH x.x;

Terra: DUNFALLDUNFALLDUNFALLDUNALLLLLL

Tifa: Maybe I can use, like my great oral skills to like, get some guy to help us and some junk.

_That horribly wrong sounding sentence made Cloud go into a semi-coma-like state of extreme twitchiness things... Making him let go and sending the twitchy Cloud and screaming Terra falling._

Barret: Well damn...

Tifa: I didn't like, mean that! rolls eyes

_Our two heroes fell to what they thought would be their deaths but in fact is was a flowerbed!_

Terra: Owie..

Cloud: (who had broken Terra's fall) X.X

Random Girl: Hey! looks around Reno! She's not here! whines

Reno: rolls eyes She's gotta be around here somewhere...

Random Girl: skips up to Cloud and Terra Where's the flower girl?

Reno: sighs Aeris..

Aeris: appears from behind Cloud Whhhaaattt?

Cloud: GAH! jumps into Terra's arms She's scary! ;o;

Random Girl: Found her!

Aeris: We must flee!

_She grabbed Terra, who was still holding Cloud, and ran out the back of the church through the sector, and into a playground. The random girl followed them closely. Reno just rolled his eyes and left._

Random Girl: Awl... Reno left me. ;o;

Terra: Ohhh! Cloudy! She followed me! Can I keep her:3

RG: O.o;; Eh?

Cloud: Er... o.o;; Sure?

RG: o.O;; Eh?

Terra: Now you need a name...

RG: EH! My name's Arti...

Terra: Yay!

Aeris: You killed my flowers ¬.¬

_Just then Tifa rode by in a chocobo-pulled cart, dressed even more scantily-clad than ever._

Arti: That's scary...

Cloud: Eh?

Terra: Tifa just rolled by in a cart, dressed more whore-ish than ever.

Cloud: Oh ok. So how do we save her?

Aeris: We have to go into the Wall market and dress Cloud up like a girl! .

Cloud: O.O

Terra: How do you know that?

Arti: She was reading the script.

Terra: Oh -.-

Cloud: O.O;

_The three girls drug Cloud, who was kicking and screaming like a little girl, into the dress shop and forced him into a silky pink dress along with some other accessories generously given to them by the Wall Market citizens. Aeris picked out a red dress, Terra grabbed a baby blue one and Arti chose the black one._

Random Man: winks at Cloud So purdy. .

Cloud: O.O

_After sneaking Cloud away from the odd man, they headed towards Corneo's house-thing. All five 'girls' lined up in front of him. _

Don Corneo: Ooh! squeals So many pretties! So little time!

Tifa: Like, OMG! It's like, my Cloud-poo!

Aeris: MINE! growls o.

Terra: roars MINE!

Cloud: sings I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and...

Arti and Terra: Don't finish that!

Cloud: Why? ;-;

Barret: randomly walks through She's cute!

Aeris: That's Cloud.

Barret: O.O leaves

Don Corneo: I've decided I shall choose not one but two lovely ladies to accompany me tonight! Hee hee.

Cloud: I feel pretty!

Aeris: shmacks Cloud No!

Cloud: ;-;

Don: I've decided who my companions will be tonight. I choose the girl in the black and the girl in the blue.

Tifa: OMG! I like wanted to be chosen.

Arti and Terra looked at each other.

Arti: Can we kill him?

Terra: Sure. After we get information outta him.

Arti: You got a gurn or something?

Terra: Oh yeah! she pulls out a gurn that was almost as big as her

Arti: O.O ( -- more shock) Where'd that come from?

_Terra only smiled. The duo then followed the Don back into his 'special' room that was really pink and fluffy._

Terra: This room is sorta disturbing.

Don: Come here my pretties!

Terra pulled out her really big gun.

Terra: Nope!

Arti: I wanna know where you keep that thing! x.x

Don: What's this!

Terra: We wanna know some stuff!

Arti: Where's Reno?

Terra: Where's my brother?

Arti: You have a brother?

Terra: Yup:D

Don: I don't know those people!

_I'm not quite sure what happened next. Terra says it was an accident but I'm not so sure. Somehow Terra's gun went off and blew up the Don's manor sending all our heroes (except for Tifa) into the sewers._

Cloud: No! My dress! My beautiful dress is ruined! ;-; cries

Arti: Now how'd that happened? And how are we still alive?

Terra: It was an accident! I sweat! I'm not sure how we survived that though...

Aeris: Well... At least we're all ok.

Cloud: No we're not! My dress is ruined! more crying

Aeris: Ok... Well, did you get that info?

Arti: Wh... What info? What kinda info were we supposed to get?

Aeris: sigh Never mind. Lets just get out of this place.

_The four made towards the exit, killing a few monsters as they go. They found the exit then to the Train Graveyard! (da da daaaaaaaaaa!)_

Aeris: This place takes too long to go through.

Terra: I can blow it up...

Cloud: Just don't hurt my dress anymore.

Terra pulled the gun out.

Arti: I still wanna know where you keep that thing.

_Terra grinned and proceeded to blow the place up. The four continued on till they got to the Tower! It seemed like there was a battle going on at the top. They figured Barret was up there because every now and then they'd here a string of curses._

Tifa: Aeris! Like OMG! Like, you should take Marlene to safety!

Aeris ran off and Tifa joined your party!

Tifa: Like, OMG! We should like, help Barret.

The four ran up the Tower to find Barret fighting with none other than... Reno!

Arti: Reno!

Reno: Shit! .

_A helicopter flew up next to the tower. It had Aeris in it. Tseng too. Reno was in it after he jumped it. (fragments galore!)_

Reno: Better watch out. The tower's gonna blow up! ;3

Barret: Someone set us up the bomb!

Aeris: She's safe Tifa!

The helicopter flew away.

Arti: Reno! tear ;-;

Terra: C'mon! Lets use this handy rope to swing to safety!

_The group all jumped onto the cable, Arti at the top, Barret in the middle with Tifa attached to his back and Cloud at the bottom with Terra attached to his ankles. They then swung away on Barret's 'golden shiny wire of hope!'_

TEH END!

...really now, go away.


	2. Another Part With A Shorter Title

-1** Part 2 **

Another part with a shorter title.

_Well after our heroes jumped (or rather swung) to their impending doom, it turned out they hadn't died and were still alive and kickin'._

Terra: Damn that hurt! That was a really long fall that I didn't need to experience. . 

Cloud: I think I messed up my hair ;-;

Tifa: Omg! Like, my very revealing and non-fitting half shirt, like, doesn't look all clean and stuff. 

Barret: in a very in-depth and long speech talking to the heavens which were covered with smoke so they didn't look so heavenly I have a dream... A dream that one day I too will be able to dress like a female and look as good as Cloud did!

Arti: That's... Really disturbing ¬.¬

Cloud: I am questioning his sexual preferences... But I did look kinda sexy in that dress ;D

Terra: Ok enough of that! . We need to rescue Aeris!

Tifa: Like, I totally agree! Maybe we should like, go see her mom and some junk.

Cloud: For once she has a good idea.

Barret: I'm ready! Les go foos.

Terra: First we have to figure out where they took Aeris...

Tifa: Like, they took her to the Shinra building.

Cloud: Two right answers at once, that's crazy! How'd you know that?

Terra: 'Cause she read a few scenes ahead in the script.. ¬.¬ Why don't we go there and skip the boring part?

Arti: Fine by me! 

SCENE CHANGE

_Due to the magical scene change chocobo we now find our group of heroes in front of the Shinra Corp. Building!_

Terra: falls over 'cause the building is so tall Damn... o.o;;

Arti: Woah... It's just like I remembered!

Cloud: Lets climb it! . 

Barret: $&)#

Cloud: Well, we've got two choices..

Tifa: Like, the stairs or get all dirty and junk raiding the building.

Arti and Terra: RAID!

Cloud and Tifa: Like, stairs!

Barret: ...well, les think about this. We could climb an endless amount of frickin' stairs that took 15 minutes in the game to go through and your thumb was sore or face certain death going through the front an' get our asses blown off... 

Terra: I like the 2nd idea! LES KILL SOME BAD GUYS!

Tifa: But like.. I'll get dirty and some junk! HELLO! Aren't you listening!

Arti: Who cares.. -.-

Cloud: Where are we again? o.o;

Terra: drop kicks Cloud in the head and sends him flying through the front door of the Shinra Building Oops... o.o;;

_The alarm sounds and the robo guards start shooting. Cloud comes running out with his sword in hand and butt burning._

Cloud: OWOWOWOWOWOWOW 

Tifa: Like Omg! My Cloudy is hurt!

Terra: YOU MEAN MINE! Don't worry, I'll blast 'em to pieces! ;3

_With that, Terra pulled out her massive gun (Arti was still trying to find where she hides the thing) and sent a blast flying into the first floor of the Shinra Building... There was a big BOOM. In fact, the whole freakin' building collapsed. Sucks, eh?_

_Afterwards, we find our heroes pulling themselves out of the rubble. The body of the Shinra Corp President was somewhere along with Aeris (who hadn't died... yet) a red kitty, the Turks and Sephy himself._

_Sephy quickly exited stage left while the Turks ran right after spotting Arti trying to pull Terra out from under a bolder._

Barret: &()Y$)!)$&$)$&) YOU DAMN IDIOT! YOU COULDA KILLED US ALL!

Aeris: Happy thoughts...

Cloud: My hair! MY BUTT TT 

Tifa: Like O-M-G! My outfit is like, so totally RUINED! 

Terra: Was it... A... a little.. too much? .;;; 

Barret:)&)!#$# A LITTLE TOO MUCH! YOU BLEW THE WHOLE DAMN BUILDING UP! AND... AHHHHH! YOU KILLED THE DAMN PRESIDENT TOO!

Pretty Kitty: It seems as though the building has been completely blown into pieces.. o.o;

Terra: I didn't do it I swear! .;;;;; (she says this as she stands there with her gun still smoking)

Arti: You are INSANE WOMEN INSANE

Aeris: Oh, hey guys! Thanks for saving me from my almost certain doom! By the way, this is Red XIII but for writing purposes we're just gonna call him Red.

Red: Pleasure to meet all of you.

Barret: )&($&$ I don't care about the damn cat!

Cloud: ...now what?

LONG PAUSE OF SILENCE

Terra: To the world map!

Cloud: Yeah!

Terra: More things to blow up! .

Arti: And chocobos!

Red: May I suggest we head for Kalm?

Barret: $)&)!&)&)$&

Terra: Alright, to the world map!

Tifa: Like.. End! 

Over! DAMNIT


	3. The Flashback Part

-1** Part 3 **  
The Flashback Part That I'm Not Really Writing Much About

_Our heroes were now heading toward the calm Kalm (wow I need sleep). Their party seems to just keep growing. We have the slow Cloud, the preppy Tifa, the clueless Barret, the somewhat obsessive Aeris, the cute Red XIII, the lost Arti and the explosive Terra. The group decided to stop at the local inn to experience a rather informative flashback._

Terra: Wake me up when you're done.

_Terra lays down and promptly falls asleep._

Tifa: Like c'mon Cloud, start the flashback and some junk.

Cloud: Uh.. sure... 

Begin Flashback!

(If you really wanna see the flashback scene, play the game!)

End Flashback! 

Arti: Neat-o... I think.. So where are we gonna go next?

Cloud: Uh.. we should go.. after.. Sephiroth?

Tifa: Like, o-m-g! That's like, such a great idea and some junk!

Arti: O.o

Red: Where would we find him?

Barret: &$()! if I kno!

Aeris: Didn't someone read the script?

Red: If I remember correctly, that was you.

Aeris: Oh.. right.. 

Terra: suddenly jumps up CHOCOBOS!

Barret: $()?#

Terra: blinks There's a chocobo farm not too far from here me thinks... I hear they dance!

Tifa: Like, O-M-G! 

Arti: Sure...

Cloud: Onward?

Terra: To teh chocobos!

_Our heroes leave the calm town of Kalm and head toward the grassland where the chocobos are..._

TEH END 

(Short, I know. Y'all can deal!)


	4. Teh Part I'm Writing For Chrissy

-1** Part 4 **

Teh Part I'm Writing Cuz Chrissy don't do this no more (not true)

_Our group, which hasn't grown much, was now headed towards the local chocobo farm. When they got there the chocobos were doing some sort of synchronized dance._

Terra: bounces around a little They're dancing for us! squee

Aeris: I hate birds... They eat my flowers! RAGE! (Random FFVIII moment)

_Aeris gets all pumped up and casts... cure. They chocobo that she hit with her spell kwehed really loudly and started to run around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off... It looks enough like a chicken too._

Aeris: Damn. It didn't die.

Arti: What are you gonna do? Heal it to death?

Terra: Er.. ok..

Cloud: I wanna ride the birdy!

Terra: Like, me too!

Farmer: Those birds ain't mine. Ya gots ta go catch yerself one.

_Cloud screams like a lil' girl and jumps into Terra's arms because the farmer came up behind him._

Barret: &#(! 'effin wussie

Terra: Well.. Can't we just borrow one and bring it back later?

Farmer: Naw. These birds ain't mine.

Arti: Can't we just kill him or something?

Aeris: I'll take care of him!

_She gets all pumped up again and casts... regen._

Arti: That's sad.

Tifa: I'll like, seduce him!

_Tifa walks up to him and while she doing what she did, everyone else closed their eyes._

Farmer: That ain't gonna work. I dun like women.

Terra: coughs

Arti: O.O --- lotsa shockage

Barret: )$)&! Bash 'im over the head? 

Farmer: Y'alls botherin' me. I'ma gonna hafta ask y'all ta leave.

_Terra sneaks up behind the farmer and knocks him over the head with her big-ass gun._

Arti: You gotta be pulling that thing out of a wormhole or something.

Terra: Now all we gots to do is take these two chocobos and ride across the swamp.

Red: May I ask as to how the seven of us are going to fit on those two chocobos?

Cloud: Good question...

_Somehow our group manages to fit seven people on the two chocobos and set off towards the swamp._

_When they got to the swamp they found a big snake impaled on a tree._

Arti: O.O --- major shockage!

Terra: Ew... she walked up to the snake and poked it with her big gun

Tifa: Like, EW! Who could've like, done this?

Cloud: turns to Arti It was you?

Arti: Er.. no.

Barret: )!$&$ 'Effin Sephiroth!

Arti: This place is smelly.

Aeris: Where should we go now?

Arti: I thought you read the script.

Aeris: Didn't read this far. 

Arti: Oh.. Ask Terra.

_Terra who had been too far to hear the past conversation, heard her name and came running._

Terra: Yes?

Red: We wanted to ask you if you knew where we should go next?

Terra: pointed to a cave There! 

Aeris: Why there?

Terra: shrugs It's pretty lookin'.

_The group sets off from the grim snake scene and sets off into the pretty cave!_

TEH END 

(Woot for crap endings...)


	5. Teh Part I'm Writing While Waiting

-1** Part 5 **

The Part That Is to be Written While Chrissy Writes Part 4.

_Our group of heroes, which hasn't grown much since you last saw them, are now traveling through the cave. Since nothing really happens in the cave I'm just gonna skip to where something does happen. The group walked into the last little cavern before the exit._

Arti: Rude!

Rude: ..crap..

_The bald Turk was standing between our heroes and the exit. Rude noticed Arti but he decided to ignore her._

Arti: Where's Reno?

Terra: Where's my brother?

Rude: ...I don't know your brother little girl. 

Terra: I'm not a little girl! pouts

Cloud: Why are we here? Why are you blocking our way? Why is your head so shiny? 

_Rude chose to ignore those questions._

Rude: ...Reno says he wants to pay you back for what you did to him after he heals.

Barret: We didn't touch the little shit!

Rude: ...oh well.

Cloud: You never answered my questions! Why are you shiny!

Rude: -.-;

Aeris: What are you doing here?

Rude: You should know. You read the script.

Elena: Rude! What's taking so long? Oh... What are you guys doing here? 

Cloud: I wanna know why Rude's head is so shiny!

Elena: blinks His head is shiny.

Rude: ...

_Rude turns and leaves with Elena close behind him._

Arti: Hey! pause They left me again! ;-; tear

Aeris: pats her back It's ok, you'll catch up with them soon.

Tifa: Lets, like, go to the world map!

_THE WORLD MAP!_

Terra: Lookit! There's a place! With a big bird on top!

Cloud: Lets not go there, tis a silly place.

Barret: &)$! Lets to Junon now, damnit!

Terra: Ok, ok. Sheesh.

_IN JUNON!_

Barret:)!&$ This place is almost as run down as my hometown is now.

Cloud: What'd ya do to it? 

Barret: I didn't do shit!

Aeris: Sure...

Cloud: I wonder if they have a dress shop here...

Terra: Disturbing..

Tifa: Like, yeah! But he's, like, still my little Cloudy-poo!

Cloud: shock o.o

Aeris: Now when'd that happen?

Cloud: I'm scared...

Arti: I would be too..

Terra: I heard this town has a dolphin! Lets go find it!

Tifa: Like, O-M-G! I, like, loooovvveee animals. 

Red: That really scares me for some reason..

Arti: I'd be scared too...

Terra: Um... Tifa.. Go find us a place to stay while we go see the dolphin.

Tifa: Um.. ok! But I'm, like, talking Cloud with me and some junk.

Cloud: NOOOOOO! I'm too young for this!

_Tifa grabs Cloud and runs off with him screaming bloody murder under her arm._

Aeris: Don't hurt my Cloud!

Red: Technically, he's not your Cloud. He's his own person.

Aeris: No he's not. He's too stupid to be his own person. And if he's not mine now, I'll make him mine! 

Terra: That could be taken so wrong...

Arti: O.O -- shockage

Aeris: Er... . I didn't mean it like that! 

Red: But you did say it like that.

Aeris: But that's not what I meant! . 

Terra: Sure... We believe you. 

Arti: Weren't we going to find a dolphin or something? 

Barret: long string of curses

Terra: Random... 

Arti: But that's okay.. I think.

_The group proceeds to the beach where they hoped to find the dolphin. Instead they found a monster attacking a lil' girl trying to save her dolphin friend._

Barret: Damnit! My arms gonna get rusted!

Arti: Odd...

_Boss Battle Time!_

BIG FIGHT! 

Monster: DEATH

End boss Battle Time!

Red: That was peculiar...

Terra: Yup.

Barret!#(!$ I'm $(! rusted!

Arti: Well that's whatcha get!

Lil; Girl: Thank you for saving me an' my dolphin friend! I'll get my dolphin to jump you up to that Shin-Ra tower so you can get onto the boat thingy and go all the way to Costa Del Sol which is where I wanna go on vacation someday!

Arti: O.O (shock) Don'cha need to breathe?

Terra: Yer gonna die from shock someday.

Arti: Yeah, prolly.

Terra: Well... Lets get going!

Aeris: We can't leave my Cloud!

Red: We can not leave Tifa as well. 

Terra: I suppose...

Barret: a long string of curse words every so often interrupted by a rusty-squeaking noise

Arti: He is rusty.

_By some weird coincidence Tifa comes running up with Cloud under her arm. She drops him and he curls up into a lil' whining ball._

Cloud: Don't ever make me do that again ;-;

Tifa: I, like, couldn't find a place to stay and some, like, junk.

Lil' Girl: You can stay with me and my family because you saved me and my dolphin friend and we have some extra beds but some of you will hafta either share beds or some people will hafta sleep on the floor.

Arti: Do you ever need to breathe?

Lil' Girl: Yes but I've found a way to breathe where I don't hafta breathe while I'm talking so I can say so much more!

Terra: Wow... That's a.. handy... talent?

Tifa: Like, totally!

_Our group of heroes travel back to the lil' girls house and get ready to sleep. The four girls took the beds (Tifa using Cloud as a pillow), Red had curled up by the fire and Barret was snoring (and squeaking) on the couch._

TEH END 

squee


	6. Because Sticks Are Good

-1**Part 6**

Because sticks are good

_We find our people sneaking through the tunnels of Junon while Cloud and Terra make their way from the giant electrical tower…thing to where they hear….MUSIC! _

Terra: Hey Cloud, I hear music!

Cloud: Where are we? It kinda smells…

_As they make their way through some random tunnels where they pop up in SOLDIER locker rooms!_

Terra: Ew o.x smelly guy sweat.

Cloud: Um….what's going on?

Random SOLDIER: Who are you! And where did you come from!

Terra: Ummm… pulls out giant gun Alrighty, either tell us what's up or you get yer head BLOWN RIGHT OFF!

Cloud: o.o' Isn't this a little much..?

Terra: Shuddap! This is my forceful negotiation with the enemy!

Random SOLDIER: Ok! Ok! I'll talk! I am gay! I admit it !

Terra & Cloud: TMI! O.O'

Random SOLDIER: Umm…and there's a parade going on?

Terra: That's it! Ok, we don't need you anymore. smack, whomp with the big gun

Random SOLDIER: . eh….

Cloud: How are we gonna get there?

Terra: We get to be in the parade!

Cloud: Dress up again!

Terra: Yup!

_They rummage through the lockers to find two, smelly uniforms that fit pretty well. Then they make their way to where the parade was being held. They snuck through the crowd with their pissed off commander & were shoved into line in the parade._

_trianglesquarecircleXXtrianglecircleXXtriangle_

Rufus: That was great young one!

Terra: thank you Mr. President!

Cloud: That was horrible -.-

Rufus: Because you were so good you ,my dear, get this as a prize! hands her a lifetime pass to chocobo racing as a jockey at the Gold Saucer

Terra: OMG AHHHH! MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!

Cloud: Spaz . '

Rufus: And for you lad, for your….er…good performance, this. hands him a stick

Cloud: a…stick….yay…

Rufus: It's a stick fro me! That's worth something!

Terra: Sell it on e-bay!

Cloud: Good idea!

President?! Grr…

Terra: Uh, thank you Mr. President! We'll be going now! '

_Grabbing Cloud they quickly jump onto a nearby boat & head out to sea…_

_They find everyone else puking over the side from being so seasick (I'm feeling it too!) & start a random search sequence!_

_2 hours later…._

Jenova music!

Cloud: Sephiroth is here! busts through the door

_Sephy is standing on a large….vessel type thing laughing evily. Terra's eyes widen as she sees him._

Sephy: MWAHAHAHA cough …..HAHAHA!

Arti: Crap. I feel a boss battle coming….

Terra:……….

Sephy: notices Terra ….you! How'd you get here!

Tifa: Like, OMG! You, like, know her & some junk?

Sephy: Know her? She's my sister!

**DUN DUN DUN!**

Everyone: GASP!

Terra: you….you left me…how could you?

Sephy: Mum always liked YOU best! It wasn't fair! She always brushed you hair &gave you pretty clothes…I never got the attention!

Cloud: Pretty clothes? O.o'

Barret?#! fruit!

Aeris: wow…

Terra: You were the troublemaker! That's why she didn't like you! At least I can destroy a word! You just say it but you never do it!

Sephy: Stop! You're hurting my feelings! T.T

Aeris: Awl…look! He's crying!

Terra: You wimp! PANSY!

Sephy: Shut up! Jenova! throws a piece of Jenova at them!

BOSS BATTLE!

Afterwards…

Everyone: I can't belive they're siblings!

Tifa: Like, omg! What a twist in the like, plot stuff!

Terra: Stupid brother…ugh, pain in the ass -.-

Aeris: Your brother is hot! droolArti: Spare me . 

Terra: Ewww! ;

Red: He seems…like a cry baby.

Barret?!# who effin' cares! Lets get off this damn boat!

_Everyone hops off the boat to the beachy town of Costa Del Sol!_

Terra&Tifa&Aeris: Time to tan!

Barret: #! I already am!

Cloud: Soccer!

Arti: Ugh…end! -.-

Fin!

Author Bio stuff!

Name: Erin a.k.a StickeyNoteninja a.k.a Arti  
Age: 17 (One day I'll be 18...)  
B-day: November 3rd  
Blood Type: The type laced with Mountain Dew  
Favorite FF Character: Reno/Vinny/Sephy/Seifer  
Other Info: Um . I think I started this story….but it's been so long I really don't remember it ;


	7. Cause I'm A BARD!

-1**Part 7**

Cuz I'm a BARD!

_We now find our seasick heroes on the bright beach town of Costa Del Sol! Yay!_

Cloud: Soccer! runs off brandishing his stick

Red: I suppose I should keep an eye on him. sighs and follows him

Tifa&Terra&Aeris: Tanning time!

_The three girls had magickly changed into swimsuits all Sailor Moon style and joinx._

Arti: Ick…sunlight…

Terra: Yer comin with us!

_She grabs Arti and the four of them run towards the beach._

Barret: $&?

_The four girls appeared on the semi-deserted beach._

Aeris: blinks Where is everyone?

Terra: Does it matter?

_Just then they noticed two little groups of people: Reno and Rude sulking in the corner and a small group of tiny-bikini-clad women huddled around a half nekkid Hojo._

Arti: Reno! glomps him and latches herself to his waist

Reno: Damn…

Terra&Aeris: Eeeewwwwww…..

Tifa: Like……ew!

_Just then Red came running in with Cloud right behind him._

Red: He hit me in the head with a soccer ball! T-T

Cloud: I didn't mean to!

Aeris: Poor kitty! pets Red

Cloud: What are you doing here! points in the general direction of the TURKS and Hojo&

Hojo: Eh?

Reno: grumbles Y'all are crazy…

Barret: appears out of nowhere I pity th' foo'!

Hojo: Riiiiight….sneaks away

Terra: So…where do we go next?

Barret: My place, $&!

Cloud: Well then….let's go!

Reno&Rude: ….leaves

Arti: He left me again…T-T

**WORLD MAP TIME!**

Terra: Now…where are we?

Barret: My place, $&?

Tifa: Like, this place is, like, a dump!

Red: I do have to admit that this place is slightly…trashy.

Random Guy: You 'effed up our place.

Cloud: What did you do!

**FLASHBACK TIME!**

dodedo

**END FLASHBACK!**

Barret: cries like a baby

Terra: Wow… . 

Aeris: Yea…on to the Gold Saucer!

Terra: Yay! Chocobo Racing!

Barret: still crying

Cloud: Yay! Chocobos!

Arti: Yay?

Tifa: Like, OMG!

Arti: sighs

Barret: End it, -!&

**FIN**

Yup…really short…deal! . 


	8. Chocobos!

-1**Part 8**

Chocobos!

_Our heroes head on that cart thing to the Gold Saucer! Terra is ecstatic and jumping off of the walls because of the thought of Chocobos, Aeris and Tifa are clinging to Cloud fighting over who gets a date wit him while Red tries to clam Barret down from his crying fit. Arti reviews the script to see what's next:_

Barret?!#& still crying like a baby

Red: It'll be ok. Really…

Tifa&Aeris: cat fight

Terra: Chocobos Kweh! .

Arti: Temple of the Ancients…chic dies….nuclear holocaust? Umm…

Cloud: Can't….breathe…T-T

Barret?!# we're here!

Terra: AHH! Come on Cloudy! grabs Cloud and zooms off to the Chocobos

Arti: Wow o.o;

Tifa&Aeris: Like, OMG! He's mine!

Red: I say we explore.

**Explore!**

Tifa: Ahh! We didn't steal it!

Guard Guy: Yeah, sure, you suspicious-looking main-character people!

Aeris: We didn't do anything!

Barret: #? Get yer hands off me!

Cloud: But my 4th level limit break! I was so close! T-T

Terra: Ahh! whips out her big gun No one move!

Arti: Omg! Don't provoke her! I'm telling you dude, don't do it.

Guards: That's a really big gun .

Red: Here we go again…

**BOOM**

_Our heroes fall into the desert-prison-type place and need to race Chocobos to get their asses free!_

Terra: I'll do it!

**RACE!**

Jockey: Damn, we got our asses kicked! O.o;

Terra: Yah, I so kicked their asses.

Cloud: I didn't know you were good at sports.

Red: That was quite impressive.

Barret: &#! Can we leave!

Aeris: I found this thingy! It has a label on it…"Key to the Temple of the Ancients"…made in…China?

Tifa: Like, omg…maybe we should, like, go there and some junk?

Arti: Not yet, that's later in the script.

Chocobo: Kweh! .

Terra: Ahh! cling

Red: Another member of our party? It looks tastey…

Barret: Wtf! We're not taking a chicken!

Terra: Dun eat my birdie! pulls out the gun

Red: Eh…o.o;

Chocobo: Wark! X.x

Terra: What's the ticking?

**RANDOM EXPLOSION**

Chocobo: Fin! .


	9. IT'S A SNAKE! Not really

-1**Part 9**

IT"S A SNAKE!…..not really

_Our group now finds themselves at…a BROKEN REACTOR! Yay!_

Cloud: Ooo! Summon materia!

Summon: …rawr…

Arti: Yay?

Terra: It's so….enthusiastic…

A Voice: Hey! I'm stuck! Help…now!

Aeris: Eh…?

Tifa: Like, OMG? The reactor's, like, talking!

Red: --; sighs

Terra: Let it out…

_Cloud pokes at the reactor with his stick and a cat on a big fat moogle thing pops out._

Cloud: X.X

Thing: Thanks! bounces I'm Cait Sith!

Arti: What are you?

Chocobo: Kweh!

Cait Sith: I'm a fortune teller! I'll tell your fortune! dances around until a piece of paper pops out of the moogle's mouth It says…Bob…

Tifa: Like, OMG!1!11!

Terra: Wow…

Red: We should really get moving along.

_Our heroes continue on the path around the reactor when they come upon the TURKS._

Arti: Yay! glomps and latches onto Reno

Reno: Damnit!

Barret: Watch yo' mouth, $&!

Cait Sith: Ooh! I could tell your fortune too!

Rude: …

Cloud: You're so shiny….tell me why!

Chocobo: Kweh?

Rude: …no.

Cloud: Awl… T-T

Tifa: Like, omg! You, like, made him cry.

Rude: …

Aeris: huggles Cloud

Reno: Uh…why do y'all have a bird following y'all around?

Terra: MINE!

Chocobo: WARK!

Arti: Uh…

Cloud: I will smite the evil shiny man 'cuz he won't tell me why he's so shiny! brandishes his stick at Rude

Rude: …

Reno: Wow…I'm leavin'.

_They leave._

Arti: T-T

Terra: pets

Cloud: We mush give chase!

_They follow the path some more until they get to a burnt looking little town._

_Aeris: This place is odd…_

_Crazy Old Lady: WhErE iS mY zAcK!_

Arti: O.o

Crazy Old Lady: TeLl Me NoW!

Aeris: Um…

Crazy Old Lady: WhEeEeRe Is He? GiVe BaCk NoW! I CoMmAnD yOu!

Terra: Go away! pulls out the big gun and blows them all the way to Cosmo Canyon

Fin

wheeeeee


End file.
